Fire Drill
by Comicgirl20
Summary: Based off a skit from the office Kraglin has a surprise fire drill and chaos happens


In the electors port, Kraglin slowly looked around and saw Tullk and Bo working on one of the engines to a M-ship and Halfnut and Retch rewiring one of the M-ships. _Perfect now's my chance_ he thought as he quickly took something out of his tool box and stuffed it in his pocket, "Hey I'll be right back I gotta go take a whiz."

"Uh okay thanks for announcing that," Peter said while Oblo looked at kraglin in walked past the other various ravagers in the room and smirked in triumph.

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Kraglin took out his pliers from his pocket and cut off all the wires that powered the doors, "Last week I give fuckin' fire safety talk and nobody damn pays attention." he complained.

"Well people learn in lots of different ways but experience is the best teacher."

He grabs a nearby trash can and pulls out the lighter fluid from his pocket and pours the whole container in as he lights up a cigarette and throws in in the trash can.

"Today smoking is going to save lives."

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Kraglin walks back into the room and waits impatiently for someone to notice the smoke coming from underneath the door. But their all too engrossed in their work to notice, kraglin coughs loudly and sniffs the air, "Does anyone smell something funny?"

"What did you forget to wipe yer ass," Oblo said.

Kraglin rolls his eyes and clears his throat loudly Peter turns around and notices the smoke starting to come into the room, "Oh shit that's not good!" he said as everyone looked around and saw the smoke, "FIRE!" Oblo shouted in quickly dropped what they were doing and got up.

Kraglin put a hand to his cheek in shock and gasped, "Oh fire oh my goodness fire what's the procedure what do we do people?" Kraglin asked.

Tullk took out his com unit and tried to phone someone, "What the hell the lines are dead!"

"How did that happen?"

"We're all going to die!" Bo screeched in panic making everyone tense.

"Lad we're not going te die."

"Yes we are it's going to kill us all!"

"What's the procedure everyone?"

"Cmon this way I think it's coming from the other side!" Narblik shouted as everyone started pushing and shoving to get through the door.

"No we don' know that the smoke can be comin' from a air duct."

"OH MY GOD THIS IS REALLY FUCKIN' HAPPENIN' EVERYBODY STAY CALM!" Horuz shouted.

"What's the procedure?"

" **STAY THE FUCK CALM!"**

Retch went for the door but Kraglin stopped him, "No don't do that if it's hot there could be a fire in the hallway!"

Retch felt the door and nervously paled, "What does warm mean?"

Everyone panicked and tried to find another exit while starting to run, "Not a fiable option whats next? Wait don't run!"

"Oh there's a door check that one out."

"Oh goddamn it It's warm!"

"Go for the back door now!"

"Okay another option lets just cal- Oh geez no pushing settle down people!" Kraglin yelled as they almost trampled him to get to the back door.

"Oh I forgot my walkman!"  
"Leave it lad!"Tullk said as he led Peter out the door.

"Things can be replaced Quill people's lives however can- wait yer going the wrong way!"

Narblik felt the door and screamed, "Ow my hand it's hot!"

"This ones hot too!" Retch said in panic.

"OKAY WE'RE TRAPPED EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES!"

"No NO WAIT!"

Everyone scattered in random directions trying to find an exit, "Okay calm people have you ever seen a burn victim."

"MOVE IT!" Narblik shrieked as he tackled kraglin, "We already tried that way!"

Halfnut pulled out of the vent covers and quickly climbed in, "Halfnut pull me up!" Bo said frantically.

"Yer too heavy!"

"I only weigh a hundred and five pounds I'm skin and bones man!"

Halfnut shook his head and went on through the vent while Bo stood in fear shaking like a leaf, "I can't breath the walls are getting smaller all around me!"

Oblo slapped Bo hard across the face and shook him, "BO CALM THE SHIT DOWN YER OVERREACTIN'!"  
"NO I'M NOT OVERREACTIN' WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE HERE THIS OUR DEATH DAY PEOPLE OH GOD HOLD ME!" Bo cried as clung onto oblo and sunk his nails into him.

"OW BO MY BACK YER SINKING YER NAILS INTO ME STOP!"  
"NO HOLD ME I DON'T WANNA DIE ALONE!"

 _Maybe this might help,_ Kraglin took out a firecracker from his pocket and threw it behind his back as it went off in a colorful explosion.

"OH MY GOD THE FIRES SHOOTIN AT US!" Retch yelled.

"What do we do!"

"Quick use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision making!"

Peter covered his mouth with his hand from the smoke and shook his head, "Oh I refuse to die surrounded by you assholes!"Peter said bluntly as he tried prying open one of the doors with Tullk.

"Help we're trapped in here help!"Narnlik shouted as Halfnuts legs hit him in the face as he fell through the vent and on top of that point on it was total chaos Kraglin shook his head in disappointment and pulled the fire alarm, water started spraying down on them as the alarm went off, "Oh god it burns I'm melting!" Bo said dramatically.

"Bo shut the hell up or I'm gonna put my foot up yer ass!"

"MY HAIR!" Halfnut complained

Kraglin cleared his throat loudly, "Attention everyone there is no fire this was a simulation."

Peter looked at him in disbelief, "What!"

"Fire not real this was merely a training exercise that ya all failed,So what have we learned?"

Horuz clutched his chest and passed out on the floor, "Oh come on Horuz it's not real don't have a heart attack."

"No No don't go into the light Horuz I'm gonna give him mouth to mouth!"

Peter and tullk pulled Bo back, "No don't give him mouth to mouth!"

"Breath goddamn it!"

The main door swung open and Yondu emerged furious, "What the hell is goin' on er and why the hell are the sprinklers on!

"UUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!", Kraglin said nervously as he looked around at all the damage and the soaking wet ravagers who were giving him death glares, _perhaps this wasn't such a good idea_.

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Please feed the author with comments and reviews at this time this is my first one shot based on the office when they do the fire drill so please leave your reviews and comments I love to read them.


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